My experience...

Today we gave talks at Church. A few weeks ago the bishopric called us and asked us to speak today. When they called, Daniel asked me and after doubting for a few seconds, I said yes. I still wasn't sure of what I would say, but I felt strongly that despite my fears, I should do it.

The bishopric asked for us to speak about the articles of faith. I was the primary president in my ward in Mexico for three years, and every Sunday we repeated the articles of faith so that the children would learn them, but in that moment I realized that I had learned them, but I had never reflected on what each one really was trying to say. After praying a little I decided to speak on the first article of faith.  I wrote my talk, my husband then translated it, and I studied it and practiced it for a few days so that Daniel could correct by pronunciation.  I admit that I didn't study it much for the first two weeks, but this week I studied it a lot.

My family here in the USA has struggled sometimes to communicate with me and it is hard sometimes when I can't think of the right words to say and the communication isn't always clear.  My husband has always been my translator to help me communicate with the people here.  But I know that the moment has come that I have to be more independent, because with his school, Daniel will have a lot of things to do and won't be as available as he has been.

 Daniel was a little bit nervous for his talk, but I tried to stay calm until the last moment when I had to go up and talk. I was truly nervous, but in my heart I said a prayer that my message could be understood.  When I went up, I talked a little bit about when I lost my grandmother and I couldn't go to Mexico for her funeral and how that was so sad. And I talked about how the first article of faith helped me to overcome my trials.  I read my talk so many times that I was very surprised that when I started to speak the tears began to flow, and flow, and flow.  I felt the Spirit so strongly and I felt that someone was helping me to be able to do it well.  I tried to not look at the people to not get nervous, but I couldn't avoid it, and when I looked up and saw a family the mom was crying too, so I felt more comfortable, because I knew that my talk was being understood. I looked at my husband who was in the front row with Benji and I saw his teary eyes as well.  The talk went by quickly for me, and at the end I shared my testimony in Spanish and then ended my talk.  Even after I had finished, the tears didn't stop and even less when the pianist played a hymn that made me feel the spirit even more.

Then it was Daniel's turn, and he sounded so sure of himself. It's funny, because he was so nervous right up until he did it, and he gave a wonderful talk as well. And when he ended, we hugged and we realized at the end of the service that a lot of people came to meet us and everyone said that we did a good job. It made me feel so good that I proved that I could do this, and soon I will begin to lose my fear of talking with other people in English.  As I write this, I don't know why the tears won't stop flowing, maybe it is because when I got home from Church I had a long talk with my parents on the phone and I told them about my experience, and they were so proud of me, and I felt so comforted hearing such loving words from my father. I didn't always have the greatest relationship with my dad, but maybe one day I will share more about that. I know that those words today were a blessing for my efforts. And I know also that it is because I am excited and because soon I will be able to express the love and gratitude that I have for my new family. Thank you for you love and support that you give me.

Here is a copy of my talk :)

Good morning everyone.  Sorry that my English is not very good yet.  I pray that the Spirit will be able to carry this message to your hearts.

My name is Charbel Barker and I am from Mexico.  He is my husband, Daniel and Benji is our ten month old baby.  We got married two years ago in the Veracruz Mexico temple and we moved to Phoenix about one month ago for my husband’s law school.  

When they asked us to speak, my first reaction was of complete shock!  I did not know if I should say yes, but I felt the confirmation of the Spirit and I decided that the language barrier would not stop my spiritual progress and even though I am not speaking perfectly, here I am and I confess that I am truly nervous!...

“We believe in God the eternal Father, and in His son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.”   I love this article of faith and I carry it with me in my heart to defend me against my trials and it has helped me to look at my tribulations in a different way.

A few months ago, I faced one of the most difficult trials yet, my grandmother who lives in Mexico and who was like a mother for me, suddenly got sick and was in the hospital for a few days.  Everyone there knew how important she was for me and so they did not tell me how bad she was and they hoped she would get better soon.  They told me that she was getting worse, and my husband and I talked about what we would need to do to get Benji his passport to go down and see her.

That night we said a prayer and I felt much better and my husband was able to comfort me, but the next morning I got a message saying that my grandmother had died.  It was the worst start to a day and we decided to go to the post office to see if we could get Benji’s passport expedited.  Unfortunately the fastest they could do it was in five days. 

It was a very painful and sad morning because in Mexico they plan the funerals very quickly and the burial would be the next day.  My sister in law offered to watch Benji for a couple days so my husband and I could go and in that moment I had to make an important decision to go or to stay.  I decided to stay because I was not able to leave my little baby.  I felt like nothing could alleviate my pain and I feared that if something happened to someone else in my family we wouldn’t be able to go and be with them either. 

That night I was tired from crying so much, but I held my baby in my arms and began to sing to him and seeing his innocent little face helped me relax and then I could begin to understand the importance of having eternal families, and also having the hope that everything that happens is for our benefit.

Having faith in Heavenly Father helps us to understand his plan. Having faith in Jesus Christ helps make our trials easier to bear, and having faith in the Holy Ghost helps us to feel our Heavenly Father’s love.  I know we all have bad moments in our lives, but we have the blessing of never being alone in these times, and there are always people around us, sent by God to help us.

I pray in this moment if anyone is going through a trial, that they hold on to this principle of faith and that they receive the comfort and help that they need to press forward and now I will share my testimony in Spanish ... I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.